New Start to the New Year

This boy has had some changes lately.

But before we "go there" let's just say that he is still all around cute and goofy

He is packed full of energy, questions, love and concern for others. 

He cracks us up everyday with the things that he does and says.  



This little man has changed in ways that are great, awesome and in some ways bittersweet.

Some of you know that Jared started preschool in September and things were great the first few weeks, but since he has a hard time with anxiety, drop offs in the morning were hard.  Starting the end of October and beginning of  November things started getting really bad.

He got himself so worked up about school that he was always talking about it.  He goes to school Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 9-11:30.  Even on his days home he would talk about school and the fact that he didn't want to go he didn't want me to leave him.  So many mornings I would have to make the drop off as fast as possible leaving him sobbing at the window, just hoping that he would calm down and enjoy his day with his friends. 

The answers when I picked him up were usually great.  He would have a great day, but the drop offs were always so bad.  Why the separation problems? 

This issue went on and on and on for 2 months.  It was affecting everyone, I hated leaving him so upset, and worked up.  I would get upset, I would sit or pace at home wondering how it was going, was he happy, are we making things worse by forcing this.  I can't tell you how badly I wanted to give up.   I knew I couldn't.

Now for the "Big Change!"

School started after Christmas break last week on the 4th.  Since he was out of school and not on his normal schedule for 3ish weeks,  I was expecting the worse.  Clinging, tears, screaming... You get the idea. 

I couldn't have been more wrong.  He went in, happy, excited, jumping up and down.  He still stands at the window and waves until I'm gone, but that is just fine.  The turn around these last 2 weeks has been tremendous!  I am so happy/relieved/proud  and more importantly so very happy for him.

Now to get down to what we "think" was going on.

We were told several months ago by the PHD that Jared is Highly Sensitive.  He internalizes things a lot more then others, he notices things you don't think he would.  He thinks and worries about things too much.  The slightest change in how things look he catches.  He constantly worries if people are happy.  He gets his feelings hurt very easy, but then he forgives very fast too.  We don't give him enough credit sometimes on how smart he is and how much he notices.  

I had myself a "light bulb turned on" moment. 

I was thinking the other day (I'm not as smart as Jared obviously) about when all this started and I noticed something.  Jared started having more severe problems the beginning of November very end of October.  That is when we found out we were expecting.  As you may have read 2 posts ago we never told the kids anything.  As you also may know things weren't going well with me health wise from the very beginning and I think he caught on to that fact and started worrying about it.  I had a lot of appointments from the get go.  Then to add to it, the happenings of December and all that went a long with it, I think it was all just too much for him, and the way he choose to deal with it or try to manage was to "cling on."  He must have felt the stress, worry and everything else, and couldn't find a way to talk about it so he internalized it all.  I feel bad, but living in the moment is a lot different then looking back and seeing the changes.

"I think" 

That was all Psychology according to Carolyn. 

I have a great book for those reading this that may want to look more into the Highly Sensitive Child.  There is a check off list at the very beginning that was Jared to a "T."

Anyway, the other way that Jared has changed that is more bitter sweet is in his appearance.  Lately I've noticed that he is really losing his baby look.  He is getting so big (besides the fact that he is 34 pounds of tiny.) 

Slow down little man.  I'm not ready for you to grow up just quite yet.