Mixed emotions.

With the upcoming changes that may be coming soon, (depending on a few things) it has stirred up a lot of different thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 

I moved here 9 years ago.  Though I can't believe it has been that long, it really has, and time has gone by so fast.  I find myself feeling a bit weirded out.

A lot has happened in these years. Good and Bad.

For instance -
- I got 2 different medical Licenses. 
- I got Married (that was a big one.)
- I got pregnant with our first born, very soon after the above mentioned.
- I gave birth to our tiny little Jared.
- I was within a grasp of losing my own life.
- Aaron had 2 surgeries to repair his torn tendon.
- 2 years after Jared we had our first baby girl Allyson.
- Aaron had another surgery for his tendon.
- We visited the ER way too many times with Allyson
- 2 years after Allyson we had our second baby girl Carys.

So really after looking at the list (I didn't mention the little things, and I left the majority of negative things out, cuz who really wants to dwell or repeat those right?)  I came to the conclusion that it's really all about family on my list.  My own family is what happened here.  There are so many memories. Our family started here, Jared's story, our loses as well as our successes have all happened here. 

The unknown of going to a new place, that neither of us know.  The unknown of how things are going to work out, freaks me out a bit.  It's kinda weird right now too, cuz some people seem happy we may be moving, some aren't happy with where we are going due to different reasons, and then some don't seem to have an opinion at all.  Again, I need to realize that I can't please everyone.  We are trying to do what is the best for our family and what will be the best for us later.  We need to get out of the slump we are in now and move on to bigger things.

This post is all over the place and just goes to show how my thought process is lately.  I'm all over the place trying to figure out what is the best thing for our family and our future.  Right now we are staying put for a bit due to a number of reasons; Jared, Finding a Job that will pay something more then minimum wage, Med changes for Aaron and a few others. 

I (and Aaron) have been stressing and worrying about this for a few months now.  We are ready for a change and so many things fell right into place when we started this process, but now there are a handful of things that need time and are more important (Jared), that we are going to slow down a bit and try to re-group.

Just so you know.