"If You're Going Through Hell"
"Well you know those times when you feel like
There's a sign there on your back
That says I don't mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can't get worse than that
And then they do
You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth
[Chorus]
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
I've been deep down in that darkness
I've been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different deamons breathin' fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I'd fall right into the trap
That they were layin'
But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin' out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been draggin' for so long
You're on your knees might as well be prayin'
Guess what I'm sayin'
[Chorus]
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there"
Those are the Lyrics from the Song by Rodney Atkins
For a while now Aaron and I would joke and kid around about that being our theme song. It's not so funny anymore.
Seems like when 1 thing happens then another thing happens and then another. When we are around people I put on a brave face and go along with stuff, but lately I am done. Why should I have to act? We are depending on so many people to help us with stuff and things aren't getting any better. Like today for instance. Aaron was on his way to work and a tire blows. Not the same one that had an issue about a month ago another one.
I know some would say stop with the pity party, but in 2 weeks this will have gone on for 3 years 3 freakin' long years. Let's see you try it! And see how you feel.
Too many days are spent worrying about stuff, wondering if anybody cares about US anymore and I'm through with it all!
14 comments:
I really hope things get better for you guys soon. I can't imagine how I would be or feel if things went bad for us for this long. We will keep you in our prayers.
I was preparing my lesson on Saturday for today and I thought of you guys, but haven't had a moment to send my thoughts. It was about the Saints and all the persecution that they were experiencing. And I thought of you guys and how much things suck for you right now or the last 3 years. The purpose of the lesson was that even though we experience problems and trails, we will be blessed if we are obedient and endure to the end. The Lord commanded the Saints to bear their persecution with patience and not seek revenge. They suffered much but they knew if they were faithful and obedient they'd eventually receive blessings, if not in this life, in the next. Please don't take this any other way than maybe a statement of hope. Heavenly Father is mindful of us and He truly loves for each of his children. I don't know why you guys are getting hit with a bunch of crap, but things will get better. I can't imagine what you are going through but you guys are in our prayers.
*I meant trials not trails and He loves each of us not for each of.
Carolyn, here is a novel idea for you - if your lazy pile of a husband can't work enough to support your family how about you get a job? Aren't you a certified pharmacy tech? I think you could make more money than your husband if you got a job in your field anyway. I am not sure when it became a "right" instead of a "privilege" to be a stay-at-home Mom. As a hard-working taxpayer I am tired of supporting your family and other families like yours. You live in a 4 bedroom apartment that I subsidize. You have 2 cars including a newer minivan - if you are poor you should be sharing a crappy old car not having a newer minivan and having an extra car. I am sure we taxpayers are also paying or subsidizing your food, healthcare, and utilities as well. I am not sure why people like you continue to have kids when you can't support the ones you already have. If you can't feed them don't breed them. If you husband is so unhappy with Safeway have him get a different job where he can sit at a desk all day long - quit complaining and be proactive. I am certain that your husbands ankle problems can't be helped by the extra weight he is carrying around either. Stop complaining and start taking care of things on your own. I for one don't want to support you or people like you through my tax dollars anymore. The Lord will help those in need but you have to do your part first. You can only milk the system for so long before people stop caring and start getting pissed off.
What an unkind and un-Christian comment. Whoever left it must not have ever had any tough times. And if you notice, it was by an "anonymous" person who obviously knows you.
What people like the previous commenter don't realize is that the cost of putting the kids in daycare in order for both you and your husband to work would be cost prohibitive. By the time you paid for daycare, work clothes, transportation costs, etc., you would be working for about $2.00 an hour. What's the point?
As far as rent, health care, food costs, and such, that is why we all pay into the "system". There are unemployment taxes, L&I deductions, and other stuff that comes out of a paycheck for situations just like yours. And some day, when things are better for your family, the taxes you pay will go to help someone else who is having a hard time and needs a little help.
Finally, I know that your post was just a rant that you needed to get off your chest. You're not throwing in the towel, and I think it's amazing that your family has held it all together for as long as this has been going on. Kudos to you for your perseverance.
One final point: change your comment preferences to only allow comments from people who sign in. My rule is, if you don't identify yourself, you don't get to leave a comment.
And to the anonymous commenter: if you think about it, the Savior "subsidizes" our lives by His sacrifice. No way can we return to live with God without His help. I hope you learn that one day.
Gina - I was not trying to be unkind or un-Christian, I was merely trying to send a reality check to someone who is using and abusing the system and complaining about it to boot. I have had plenty of tough times but I have gotten through them on my own through my own hard work and diligence. I have never accepted a penny in welfare from the church, the State or the Federal governments and would work at McDonald's before I ever did. My wife and I both work and we do have children in daycare - in the end my wife takes home much more than $2.00 per day and is a great help in supporting our family - so it can be done. Would my wife prefer to be a stay-at-home Mom? You bet she would but we can't afford to do that so she works. I have no problem with stay-at-home Moms, just ones that are doing it at the expense of the taxpayers. Again, if you can't feed them don't breed them. We don't "all" pay into the system, just those of us who work for a living and aren't on welfare. People on welfare take much more out of the system than they will ever put back into the system. Even at tax time the welfare people get money back through earned income credits and child tax credits even though they have paid little to nothing in taxes. Last but not least Gina the Lord asks us to do our part in order to receive blessings - milking the system is NOT doing our part. Our church leaders preach self-reliance and living on welfare is most certainly not self-reliance. When I was in college I drove a crappy old car, ate tons of Top Ramen and worked a full-time job. I am tired of seeing families milk the system for all its worth and not working their way through school and life.
You must be intimately familiar with Carolyn's situation, otherwise, why comment anonymously? How do you know they are on welfare? How do you know that taxpayers are supporting them? Are you speculating? Because frankly, you wouldn't know any of that unless you know Carolyn's family personally. And if you do, then have some cajones and identify yourself.
If you do know her family, then perhaps your comments would have been better in private. Also, what gives you the right to hand out a "reality check"?
And as far as take-home pay, I said $2.00 per HOUR, not per day. Daycare is much more expensive if your children aren't toilet trained. (I know--I've done my research.) Incidentally, why does your wife have to work? Do you take luxury vacations, have fancy cars, have massive credit card debt, or bought a home you couldn't afford? If not, then why don't you try to get a better paying job so that your wife is able to stay home with the children you helped to create? In addition to self-reliance, our church leaders have also counseled husbands and fathers to do what they can to have their wives in the home raising and nurturing the children they've brought into the world.
I guess I take offense because my husband and I have had to accept subsidized state medical insurance for us and our children since he lost his job last year, and was unable to find other employment. Currently, he works full-time at a minimum wage job while going to school full-time, and we've moved in with my parents so that I am still able to stay home and raise our children. We are lucky that we do not have any serious medical problems or conditions and that our children are very healthy. I don't like having to use government help, but what other choice do I have at this point? The medical plan offered by his employer would cost most of what he makes in a month, and we do have a few small bills we pay, as well as helping to buy food and gas for the household. My children need immunizations. My husband and I should have a physical once a year to make sure we are healthy. What happens if any of us gets sick? We cannot afford to pay for medical expenses out-of-pocket. So tell me, do I need a reality check because I'm not out working in order to save money in case one of us ends up with strep throat?
Good for you that you've never accepted help from the church, the government, or anybody else. Maybe you'll get a few extra brownie points for being the most self-reliant person on the planet. In the meantime, try not to kick people when they're down. It's not good for them, and it's certainly unbecoming conduct for you.
Gina...
I don't know you, but you are true friend to defend Carolyn. I'm the Mother in Law. Thanks!
WOW! Anonymous~
It really takes a lot of guts to rant your nasty small-mindedness without identifying yourself. What kind of a pathetic little man are you? You presume to know intimate details about Aaron and Carolyn’s situation, but you have many of the ‘facts’ wrong and you assume far too much!
Aaron and Carolyn are not on state welfare assistance and never have been. Their medical is not state funded. Where they live or what they drive is frankly, none of your business, however many students with families live in subsidized housing. In our church, we believe in family helping family first before going to the church or state. If I’m not complaining, why should you? Both extended families are very aware of the situation and we know all the facts.
I assume you went to public school and you mention going to college. Who do you suppose subsidized your education? Taxpayers! Don’t for a minute think that your tuition solely paid for your education. Do you drive on roads? Are you taking advantage of the public library and other public buildings? Do you get to pay only $ 33.00 for your license tabs in Washington State? If so, to say you have never taken a cent of taxpayers money is WRONG. I am willing to pay taxes for EVEN you and your children to receive an education. In this country, we don’t get to pick and choose who will help and who we won’t. As President Jimmy Carter once said, “A society is measured by how well they care for their most helpless and innocent citizens.”
Carolyn full knows what a blessing it is to stay home with their children. We all understand the difference between right and privilege, but we also take the counsel of the Prophet very seriously when he tells mothers to be home with their children if at all possible. Those of us close to the situation, who are privy to the real facts, support her 100% and are in total agreement with her decision to be home.
Unfortunately, your welfare rant was directed at the wrong family. Carolyn has the right to express her frustration on her PRIVATE Blog all she wants. Bloggers, who are primarily young mothers, do it all the time. It wasn’t addressed to you and she didn’t ask you to come up with a solution or to even comment. She was expressing her reaction to a bad day full of difficult news. We don’t get to pick when adversity comes, we only get to respond.
Lastly, you mention church several times. You say you didn’t intend to be un-Christ like, but you most definitely were! Who made you the moral compass for handing out unsolicited ‘reality checks’ to anyone? The Lord appoints only one judge in Israel, and it isn’t you! Now, I’m not your judge either, but if I were you, I might want to do some serious introspection and contemplate why you felt it was your duty, right or privilege to wound Carolyn and Aaron the way you did. You might also want to seek forgiveness for your haughty and arrogant attitude. Who are you to judge?
At the very least, you owe Carolyn and Aaron an apology! I don't even know who you are, thanks to your pathetic and cowardly anonymity, but I feel sorry for you. GROW A PAIR!
The Mother in Law
Dear Worthless Anonymous,
My name is Steven Peterson. I'm Carolyns little brother, Aarons brother-in-law and an Uncle to those two amazing kids. How dare you. You have a pretty big mouth to say such horrible things but no balls to use your own name you coward. Tell ya what when you grow some balls let me know, then you can call me and we can discuss this....or you can just hide behind your computer you worthless, heartless, sorry excuse for a man.
Wow...Carolyn! I cannot believe that someone would say such degrading things to you! For my entire life I have looked up to you and your family and I know that you are a hard working bunch. Your testimony in the church and your fun attitude has been a great example to me. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are and I'm sorry again you have to put up with this crap. I hope that your situation turns around. You deserve better. Love you woman.
The reason I have a blog is to vent. I call it cheap therapy.
I am totally impressed by your mother-in-law. She sounds like a wonderful woman.
I'm sure what this person said must have hurt you deeply but please know that there are many more people out there that love and support you.
Like I've said before, hang in there, life will get better!
Hugs to you and your family!
Julie
Mr. A you are a true blue coward. I wonder if the people around you realize how arrogant you are...how sad if you are viewed as an upstanding member of your church because then, you are a despicable hypocrite. In my opinion, you're a hypocrite anyway to stick your rude nose into someone elses' business and presume to know their life and how it should be lived. And if you and your wife truly wanted to take care of your kids at home, I'm sure you could find a way. Wanna hear how it's done? You cancel the cell phones, cut the cable or satellite, you cut up all your credit and store cards, you get rid of all the play toys (not the kids' toys mind you), cancel all the superfluous crap that clogs the mail box every month, you don't go out to eat or to see movies, you learn how to coupon and do food storage, you read lots of books and rent a movie from Safeway once a month. Instead, you keep ONE car payment as affordable as possible, gotta keep the car insurance, pay off debt (old credit card and student loan debt for us), budget in $$ for food, gas and diapers and VOILA! You too can have a stay-at-home Mom. Boy, I wonder what you would ever say to my face if you knew that this household had a stay-at-home Dad!! Oh that's right, no one "knows" who you are...I think at this point in time, you'd better stay anonymous because I have a number in hand to kick your inhumane butt!
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